ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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