So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize