What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So much Jack, so little girl.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
