I have demons in me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
