Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Bring me that man meat
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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