I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
