a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
