High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
