DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
