I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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