i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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