I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
