Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
