hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
