I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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