Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
