how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize