But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
