Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
