New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
