Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
