im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We got so high we made milksteak
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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