Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
