I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
