someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize