apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's shark week go big or go home
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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