did you get engaged???
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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