no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
