i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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