do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
