well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You smell like stripper and shame
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
