it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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