i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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