my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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