I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
