you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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