i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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