soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Text me some of your sweat
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
