What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
