haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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