she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
