I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
