I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My bed smells like the plague
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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