Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
