I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
