he shaved USA in his pubs
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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