So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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