Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
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Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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