you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
