somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
