Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Randomize
