im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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