Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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