where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
