2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i dont even know how to be here
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
