i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
