i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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