i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
not ubering you a puppy
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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