So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
