Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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