Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize