Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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