I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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