And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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