we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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