U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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