I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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