Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
