At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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