Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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