it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
